The third in a seven-part series of short musings.
Darkness. I am the night, the deep of the void.
The waiting vessel.
The secret womb. What will be? From where comes the tone–the tone of God–the Om of all beginnings, the sound of creation? Have you heard the Holy Sound?
What was that first sound He uttered? The tone became word, and became Word. Word became Call. When will all hear The Call?
I begin as such: pure, immaculate, clean, and ready. But I want to explore, to learn, and to journey. My restless soul is once again fresh–excited, curious, desirous. I search high and low, I discover, and I become filled. Now am I filled with the others–wounds, sadness, death not understood, and separation.
But wait! I hear a sound–no longer the sound of creation, but now the call of my becoming, my Being. It is God calling my name. I am relieved. As He called Samuel, so He calls me, and so I answer. As He called out for someone to send, I am as Isaiah and answer: send me.
I have learned much to forget. I am eager to study anew. I seek a new knowledge–a gnosis not yet discovered. I am filled with untruth, injustice, trauma, and confusion–the burdens are heavy, I am weary. Now comes the time of release. And I now know the heart is in all things, and all things are in the heart.
I empty my ears of all raucous annoyances. “and shall know that I am the Lord their God: for I will give them an heart, and ears to hear:” (Baruch 2:31 KJVA.)
I remove words of evil from my mouth. “The heart of fools is in their mouth: but the mouth of the wise is in their heart.” (Ecclesiasticus 21:26 KJVA.)
I empty my hands of all instruments of harm. “If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him; if iniquity be in thine hand, put it far away, and let not wickedness dwell in thy tabernacles.” (Job 11:13-14 KJVA.)
I purge my body of all pollutants. “let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.” (Hebrews 10:22 KJVA.)
I clear my eyes of all illusion. “He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them.” (John 12:40 KJVA.)
I open my mind and let go of all distractions. “and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” (Mark 12:30 KJVA.)
My surroundings must be swept clean, and my rooms prepared. “A froward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked person.” (Psalm 101:4 KJVA.)
And now, finally, I break my heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalm 51:17 KJVA.)
I am empty. I am the emptiness. I am the black and secret womb from whence I came. I am home. I am Home.
We Are. He remains always. I remain, to be created again.
Now I see–beauty for ashes.
Now I hear–the songs of angels as the shepherds heard first.
I speak words from the sweetness of my mouth.
I feel love and strength, as my hands extend comfort.
I am pristine, immaculate.
Where will this new journey take me? What will He show me? I cannot even imagine.
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJVA.)
With great love,
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