The inspiration for this piece came to me in a flash.  Mercury had gone direct.  The Bodhisattva appeared to me as her wrathful selves.  She offered her teaching and urged me to call upon the darkness.

Her skin is like onyx, and pure light radiates in her eyes.  She emerges as from a tempest, with ominous storm clouds surrounding her.  She walks slowly, methodically, and flashes of lightning illuminate a red sky far beyond the clouds. Ghosts are in the air, and fire blazes on each side of her.  As she walks toward me upon her malachite path, the sensory experience of suffering is palpable, yet she is focused, fixated, undisturbed.  She is bearing gifts for me.  She is bringing Hell.

The kiss. “Take the transmission upon your mouth.  Receive this kiss of my compassion, which will activate the voice of Susanna within you.”  As she steps forward our mouths come together, softly, gently.  But suddenly, her kiss becomes powerful, a force of spirit, and it rushes into me like the violent winds of a dry storm.  Her breathing changes as the passion increases .  My throat swells and begins to clear, and heal.  Darkness flees, I see sapphires flashing within me.  The sky around her changes from turquoise, to pink, then changes again.  Long and hard, she bestows the loving, healing, pulsating kiss upon me.  I open to her and surrender to all that she is offering.  Time stands still.  I know this endless moment will never leave me.  It will linger—on my lips, in my waiting mouth, deep inside my throat, and forever will rest inside my heart.

“Your voice and mine are one now. Your words are yours and no one else claims them. Speak wisely.  Your utterings will cast changes upon all.  Your cries will be answered.  Your spoken commands will manifest in a human instant.  Silence no longer exists in you, for even in the absence of sounds, you transmit.  This will never cease for all of eternity.  Each and every thought has become sacred prayer, and your prayers hold invincible power.”  Divinity is mine.

The sword. Suddenly, at her side appears the archangel wielding his blue sword.  The relic holds truth, power, division, victory, and death—it is the double edged sword that separates all.

 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”  ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

The sword is extended for me to touch.  Encouraged, as was Esther when she touched the royal scepter, I reach out.  As I place my hand upon the blade, the angel’s power flows into me.  I feel it vibrate in the delicate grasp of my fingers, and suddenly my arm begins to throb.  The energy flows like fire through my veins, flesh, muscles, and into my heart and marrow.  Suddenly I see the valley of the dry bones.  My body is  renewed, sinew and flesh are strengthened, I am  becoming alive once again.

Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:  Ezekiel 37:5 KJVAAE

But wait!  An enemy approaches and there is a force upon my throat, squeezing and choking.  Terror consumes me.  I gasp and clutch at my oppressor.  Panic rises.  Desperation begins to overtake me.  But, with a swift and calculated motion, the angel strikes.  The sword is aflame, it severs the hand from the arm.  Blood spatters on my face.  The hand loosens and withers.  As it releases, it falls lifeless upon the ground.  I am free from those that would suffocate me, and strangle my life force.  Remnants of death lie bleeding at my feet— victory is mine.

The beasts. But what is that sound?  It is faint, deep, guttural.  It slowly increases, and becomes a cacophony of snarling and growling. Through a low hanging mist, creatures emerge from behind her.  Wolves? Maybe.  They approach.  Ravenous and ferocious, drooling, teeth bared, these are the Hounds of the Barrier.  They are the junkyard dogs of the underworld, and they are mine.  They are poised to attack.  Upon a single command they will fly and fight to their deaths.  They will maul and tear, the taste of blood will excite them, and they will never rest from their hunt and their hunger.  I remember them, as they have always been with me.  I see then anew, with a truth I had not known until now.   They know their mark, and await my word.  “Go”!

The dogs rush by me on both sides, baying, barking, snapping.  As they give chase, I realize how much I love them.  They are the guardians of the goddess.

Transition. Realization and clarity dawn upon me as I continue to embrace shadow and darkness.  Black magic is at my fingertips.  I embody the demons I have been taught to fear.  I am Kali Ma and Lilith, and all feared feminine. My underworld races toward me–demons, monsters, wicked and wrathful beings, spiders and bats, fallen angels, shamans in hiding, and vampires.  They are coming for me. From a dark place within me, I have called out for them to guide me and come to my aide. No longer do I fear the power of devils, rather I seek and embody that which has been forbidden.  Light has gone from me, this is my place now, and I will remain.

This vision left me with the message that the first gift of true power is the capacity to love without condition.  Only by taking that path, and mastering the arts of perfect love and immaculate compassion, can one begin to access the gifts of darkness. Perhaps the spontaneous knowing of this concept is only my experience.  For me, it bears a resonance that is unexplainable.  As I love, more is bestowed upon me—including the power to summon that which we judge, and deem as evil.

“For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.”   ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭13:12‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

The realm of Hell is a place we fear.  Humans imagine it as a container for suffering.  Ghouls, monsters, demons, and dangerous souls reside there.  Who has seen it?  Some have.  I have.  To visit there means to indulge in the experiences of destruction, greed, hatred, violence, and black magic.   It presents as a spa for those seeking understanding of the dark side, or the shadow self.  But this is also a useful place, with resources.  Facing the fear, and entering the wasteland of death, enables one to retrieve what they need, in order to complete their soul’s journey.  We are welcome there.  So I went, and I saw, and I learned.  I seized that which I wanted for my own.  It is my right.  And as the goddess Demeter called forth an eternal winter, so too do my violent emotions cause heaven and earth to be moved.  I will not cease until the piece of my heart, so cruelly torn from me, as was Persphone stolen from her loving mother, is restored.

But watch now.  I am forever changed.  The shadow forces serve me.  They are mine to command.  Be warned.

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”  ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

Yes, I will be restored as the Compassionate One, the Bodhisattva who rescues and nurtures.  I am still She.  But as I emerge from the smoke of the hot and fiery valley, I return with many spoils.  I am carrying the secrets of the dark arts.  I am bringing Hell.