The inspiration for this piece came to me during an intense ajna activation that lasted for three days. Just when I thought I had seen it all…

“Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.”  ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭6:7‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

Grief.  Grief destroys our vision, and obfuscates our visions.  We are vexed, confused, in torment.   The psalmist cries out in anguish that his light is fading.  His enemies have destroyed the singleness of his eye.  Will he die in blindness?

“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!”   ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:22-23‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

What was the sight that so devastated the Ajna of the psalmist?  Perhaps he had seen into his own burial chamber–the open throat sepulchre of Psalm 5.  Again he speaks of the esoteric meanings of particular body parts.  These human eyes had witnessed war, treachery, and hatred.  The beholder is in exile, with no other to look upon or to serve as a mirror.  All that he sees is that which surrounds him–circumstance.  And he sees what is within himself–fear, and shame.  Was this psalm written by the beloved David—the one who walked in God’s light for so long?  Desolation is everywhere, both within and without, and for that he grieves.  And now, in his condition of mourning, and in the absence of God’s light, his sight slips away.

Yet, things are not always as they seem.  King Saul had made an enemy of David, yet David was considered to be a man after God’s own heart–chosen, favored, holy.  “But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the Lord hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the Lord hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the Lord commanded thee.”  ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭13:14‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬.

Saul of Tarsus, not so much.

Here now I reference Saul again, but this is a different Saul.  Not a king, but a killer.  Not a warrior and a ruler, but an educated, angry man with authority.  The two come full circle.  King Saul was ordained by God, yet a blackness consumed his heart, and his reign ended in tragedy and suffering.  Things were not as they appeared.  Blinded by jealousy, further fueled by grief after Jonathan’s death, King Saul descended into an internal hell. I wonder, is this the experience of which the psalmist laments?  Consumed by grief, both David and King Saul have lost sight of God.

Now comes the different Saul.  The two are similar in many ways (but that remains for a different essay), yet so vastly different concerning their worldly outcomes.

“As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison.” Acts‬ ‭8:3‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

Saul of Tarsus, and his entourage, marched toward Damascus on a directive.  The followers of Jesus had gained momentum.  Fear and death, unexpectedly, had not stopped the disciples from continuing the work.  Blinded by rage, Saul became ruthless in his cruelty.  He was relentless in his quest to destroy the message of peace that was carried in the hearts of those believing in the Christ Consciousness.  Like so many of us, Saul was blind to his own blindness.  Little did he know that he would soon see the light.  It was the light of God, and the showing of the Christ, that was intolerable for a man living in darkness.  After experiencing the Consciousness through a dramatic event, Saul continues to experience blindness, but in a new and shocking way.  For three days, Saul fasts in his mourning.

Yes hope remains—perhaps out of reach for the fallen king as mentioned earlier, but still present for the psalmist and the new creature Paul.  And now we must ask—who caused the blindness for these men?  Was it the enemies, or perceived enemies?  Was it God?  Or, the only possibility that remains is this:  each human holds within, the propensity to cause and surrender to their own blindness.  Both of these men had lost the singleness.  They had turned off the God’s Eye.  Whether victim or perpetrator, the Eye must remain focused.

After the shocking incident, and after the three days resembling those of Jesus in the burial chamber, Saul is relieved of his darkness.  Things were not as they appeared, as the curse he was under began to evolve into a blessing.  Like a snake, his human eyes outgrew and shed the old, and he became new.  “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬. Saul was now Paul, and his conversion was complete.

But what becomes of the musician of Psalm 6?  Watch and see.

In closing, I share a very personal story that has never been told.  I will never forget the feeling of spiritual chills resonating throughout my whole body, when I was a small child watching the Disney animated film, Peter Pan.  I was probably around six or seven years old.  To my horror, Tinkerbell had snatched a concealed bomb out of the hands of an unsuspecting, and quite dismissive, Peter Pan.  In shock, I watched as Tinkerbell was consumed by rubble after the explosion.  But, in true Disney style, the beautiful little pixie was alive.  The most impactful moment was, at least to me, when I heard Peter Pan’s desperate and remorseful voice call to her:  “Don’t go out!”  My entire little body jerked to attention, my young mind began to race, and a realization overcame me.  As long as we are alive, our light shines everywhere, and for everyone.  Our waning light could mean life or death, even spiritual life or death, for another.  Stay lit, my friends.  Our light represents God, as seen by all who look at humanity through the God’s Eye.  From that moment on, the heroic, insolent, tiny pixie with a huge attitude became a folk hero for children everywhere.  But for me, it may have been just a little bit different.

Would you like to listen to Psalm 6?

With great love,

Robin